3 Lessons Learned From Dating The Wrong Guys

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Love Game

If you've been following me for some time, you know that I'm a big fan of self reflection and self improvement.  A huge part of that stems from a lifelong practice of learning from my mistakes and my love life is no exception.  I've dated my fair share of f*ck boys since entering the love game, and to keep it 100, I myself have been a f*ck boy once or twice.  If love is a learning process, I'm a work in progress full of insights you won't want to miss.  Today I'm sharing 3 lessons I've learned from dating all the wrong guys.

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1. Keep An Open Mind

Dating in your twenties can be tough, especially when you attract the wrong guys.  On the flip side, it's even tougher when you're attracted to all the wrong guys!  Some of my best dating experiences were with men that I never thought I'd look at twice.  Why is that?  It's because I was captivated by traits that were consistent with the notorious f*ck boy profile!  Listen, I'm a smart girl, but smart has nothing to do with love.  It took me a crazy long time to realize this mistake and reprogram myself to give guys with great qualities a shot.  I've relapsed once or twice, but my love life has been infinitely better since opening my mind to nice guys.

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2. Trust Your Gut

You can't nourish yourself without her.  You use her on a daily basis and you spend eons in the gym training her, because she's your greatest ally.  She sends you signals when you're nervous, when you're feeling sick, and when something's not quite right.  She's yours and she's there for a reason.  Don't ignore her the moment someone new joins the mix.  She will always guide you in the right direction.  Trust yourself on this one.

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3. Value Your Time

Your time is precious, your work is precious, and your goals are precious.  It's very important not to lose sight of these things when you're dating someone.  Last year, I dated a guy that helped me understand the importance of this lesson.  Like me, he was a creative working towards achieving a number of personal goals outside of his 9-5.  We adored each other for our shared commitment to the hustle, but I began to realize that he didn't respect my time.  We made plans exclusively around his schedule, and when I shifted my personal priorities to make room for our relationship, I noticed that he would take it for granted and never offer to do the same.  Relationships are give and take, but in this situation, I was the only one losing myself in the process.  That's when I realized he had to go.  Your time is too precious to waste on people that don't value it.

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No Regrets

Dating is fun!  It can be a roller coaster ride at times, but that's all a part of the journey.  I urge you not to live with regret, but rather to reflect on where you've been.  Our experiences have the power to teach us so much about ourselves and the things that we need to change.  I hope that some of the lessons in this post resonated with you, and as always, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.  Until next time!

xoxo, Charmaine

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